Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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