I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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