If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize