I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
