Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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