week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
