You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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