God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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