I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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