What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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