Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
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Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
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We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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