it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this will be a night to untag.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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