Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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