Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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