I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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