This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
