Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
