I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
We named our party play list daddy issues
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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