Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
