im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
