he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
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