Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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