If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
