...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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