i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
