all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
