I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
