I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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