You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
