I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
