So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
me + whiskey = a bad person
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
