is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
