The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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