That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
