she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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