I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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