exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
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