Screwed.edu
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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