Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
