you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
