I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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