We're like a lot better than the average bears
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
