This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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