I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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