i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
