Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
