My hair reeks of homosexuality.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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