Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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