Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
