You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Come share oat with me in your robe
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
