I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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