he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
