Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
