He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
