I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
