I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
