Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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