Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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