tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
