Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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