Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
